Two things:

One. I've always had an issue being really down on myself. I've pondered the verse that says loves your neighbor as yourself. That's hard to do when you don't love yourself. Although I've made a lot of progress in this area over the last few years, something profound happened the other day. I was driving along and thinking something negative about me. Something like, you were stupid to do that. What were you thinking? God stopped me. He told me, don't say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to someone else. That's stopped me in my thinking footsteps many times already. This will change me.

Then, a few days later as I was pondering this He told me, don't think anything about someone else that you wouldn't say to Me. wow. I need to change. Profound.

Two. As I was driving home today I was thinking of what a rough year it's been. Not only for us, but for many others I've talked to. I was thinking through a list of all the difficult things that have happened this year when it hit me that God has been no farther away through all of this. Then I realized that no bad thing came from him. It hasn't been a bad year because of him - it's everything else. He's still been faithful, loving, right nearby. He's been good and kind. He's answered prayer. So, it's been a hard year. But it hasn't been so because of Him. In Him, it's still been good.

Something I came across recently that I wrote awhile ago.


What does it mean to know your fulness, Oh God?
What does it mean to know you all?
What does it mean to be in you?
What does it mean to be known by you?

Show yourself.
Show yourself to me.
Help me to know all of your being.

What does it mean to know your grace?
What does it mean to know your mercy?
What does it mean to know your peace?
What does it mean that you'll live within me?

Show yourself.
Show yourself to me.
Help me to know
all of your being.

Show yourself.
Show yourself to me.
Help me to know
all of your being.

What does it mean for me to surrender?
What does it mean to be your servant?
What does it mean to fall into your love?
What does it mean that love's neverending?

What does it mean?
What does it mean?

It means that you are my forever king.
It means that you will never leave me.
It means that your promises are always true.
It means that I can be friends with you.

What does it mean that you are my Savior?
What does it mean to live eternally?
What does it mean to see your heaven?

What does it mean?
What does it mean?

Show yourself.
Show yourself to me.
Help me to know
all of your being.

Show yourself.
Show yourself to me.
Help me to live
with you as my king.

Now I have received the gift of Life. Once before I sought death. I wanted to die. I didn't want to live. I didn't deserve to live. But instead of death I was given life. Wonderful life. And now I desire to give away that which I have been given inorder to share it freely - that which has been freely given to me. "I have come that they may have life and have it to the full." Not a little life. Not barely surviving. But life, true life, abundant life. Life to live and laugh and love. Life to run and play and be loved. Life to be safe in. Life to be loved in. Life to love and live. True life. Abundantly.